We didn’t mean to, but we are lying to our daughter.

While at my mom’s house my daughter was looking through a little photo album with wallet sized pictures.  It was an old album and in it was a picture of me and my ex-husband. She asked me, “Who is that mom?” I panicked and made a quick decision to lie and tell her, “That’s my old boyfriend.”

My husband and I were both married before.  There were no kids involved in either marriages and we both have no contact with our exes, so it’s easy for us to forget that we were ever married to anyone else.

My daughter is almost 7 years old and even though she is grossed out by her parents public displays of affection, she is also very interested about how my husband and I met, fell in love, got engaged and why we love each other.  Therefore, I want her to see her parents as solid and utterly head over heels in love with one another.  I don’t want her to even imagine her mom or her dad married to anyone else.  My daughter knows that I had boyfriends before I met her dad.  She assumes that this was all in high school.  I know this kid and if she knew that I had an ex-husband and that her dad had an ex-wife she would have lots of questions.  Frankly neither one of us really wants to talk about it to anyone, especially to our kid.

I want her to believe that marriage can last forever. That her mom and dad have only had eyes for each other. That her being on this earth was destined to happen.  Perhaps this is a bad move, but I don’t know what the future holds?  I am sure that we can’t keep this secret forever and that we will eventually get caught.  When she does find out about our little secret though, will she be more traumatized?  Am I doing more harm now than good?

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So last weekend I went to the movies to see ‘Sex and the City’ 2 with three of my girl friends (of course there had to be four of us)!  As I was getting ready for the ‘Girls Night Out’ evening I was actually thinking, “Wow, I haven’t done a girls night out in a long time.”  Being a wife and a current stay-at-home mommy of a 17 month old, outings like this don’t occur often, probably because I’m usually too tired. Now, although I was thinking about my long over-due ‘Girls Night Out,’ I also had something else on my mind too.  I was thinking about my role as a wife, my marriage, and my new identity as a mommy (okay, I guess 17 months of being a mommy isn’t that new anymore).

Now I adore and love my husband of almost 3 years, and with whom I have been with for almost 6 years, but I had something really bugging me that night and no it wasn’t my husband himself. It was the feeling of the monotony of daily life that was bugging me that night.  See, I’m the kind of girl who always has a million things on my mind and a million more that I want to do or accomplish.  I will literally stay up until 1:00 am figuring out my life in my head and what my next move will be.  You would think with a 17 month old I would cherish sleep more…nah, it’s like that old saying, “I’ll sleep when I’m dead.”

Now don’t get me wrong, I feel very blessed in my life, but it doesn’t mean that I’m not afraid of getting into a rut or that I don’t get bored with my day-to-day routine sometimes. Anyone would be lying if they didn’t admit to feeling this once in a while, especially if you’re married with children.  Some of you may be saying to yourself, “Michelle, I have no idea what you’re talking about, I’m 100% satisfied with my life and couldn’t be more content.”  To those people, I say “Liars!” And really if you’re 100% content with your life, then my next question to you would be, “What else is there to look forward to then when you have nothing left to strive for in all of your content?”

Looking back, I remember a time when I was in a club every night, Thursday through Sunday. I was either partying at it, singing in it, or cocktail waitressing. That was my life in my 20’s, that and school.   Then I grew up; I graduated college and eventually I got married.  But guess what?  I thought I grew up when all this happened, but I didn’t really, it was when I had my baby, that’s when I truly grew up.

Having a baby changes your world completely.  My daughter is my world and my life revolves around her 200%.  Everything I do is based on her needs, her schedule, and her happiness and safety….and you know what, I wouldn’t have it any other way. She is my number 1 priority.  However, I’m still a young woman who wears many hats, not just the mommy one, and so it becomes a fine balancing act between my daughter’s needs and my own.

I used to be the woman who couldn’t go to the mailbox without my make-up on. Now I’m the mommy at the park with my hair in a ponytail, with no make-up and in my gym clothes.  Why is this?  Because my daughter doesn’t care what I look like, all she cares about is getting in our daily stroll to the park.

So now my days are filled with playing, preparing meals, cleaning messes, singing songs, dealing with temper tantrums, diaper changes, Gymboree, strolls to the park, reading stories, and of course lots of hugs, snuggles, and kisses.

Mommyhood has most definitely been the most challenging and rewarding role of my life……..but sometimes……dare I say it………..Here I go…..”I need more.”  By the way, I literally felt guilty when I just typed out those three words, but when you become a mother you quickly learn that feeling guilty about things comes with the territory.

I try to keep up the glamour, at least when I’m out for the most part, I do it for my own sanity and for my own self-esteem, but I would be lying if I didn’t say that there are literally days when I do not get out of my sweat pants and I do not do my hair, or put on any make-up for that matter.   That’s when I think to myself…”My poor husband, the least I could do is go get some hot velour suit to wear around the house,” you know, like the ones that the Real Housewives of Orange County wear.

Now my husband and I do attempt to do date nights once a week and I absolutely love it, especially if it involves sushi, but even our date nights are different now as we find ourselves in the role of parents.  We are not out all hours of the night, and we can’t go out any night we want either like when it was just us, and nights out sometimes require careful planning as well.  That just comes with the territory of parenthood.  So as you can see, it is easy to get caught up in the  monotony of daily life for the both of us.

If you have already seen ‘Sex and the City’ 2 then you will know where I’m going with all this.  Without being a spoiler, I’ll just fill you in a bit.  Carrie finds herself now married to “Mr. Big” for 2 years and now that they are settled into their relationship she feels that their daily life is getting a little mundane, you know their getting caught up in a monotonous daily routine, like most married couples do after a couple of years.  Charlotte finds herself getting overwhelmed with the demands of motherhood, Miranda is having problems at work, and Samantha….well….she’s just busy being her usual slutty and fabulous self.  Now every woman who is a fan of the ‘Sex and the City’ series finds herself relating to at least one of the characters. In my case I would say that I’m smack dab in the middle of Carrie and Charlotte.  I’m the wife of 2 years trying to break the routine, and I’m the woman trying to be Super-Mommy, who often questions herself.

If you have read some of the reviews for ‘Sex and the City’ 2 it has been accused of not having a story line, I say bullshit to that!  It’s my story line, and every other married couple, and/or parent out there trying to balance it all and trying to break out of the monotony.  And I hate to say this, but I think the people who are giving this movie poor reviews, fall under the category of the single, straight man who can not relate to women or walk in their Manolo Blahniks on any level.

If you’re a married woman and/or a mother you will enjoy this movie and understand the story line completely.  If you are a gay man you will enjoy it as well. If you’re a straight married man, especially if you have kids, then maybe you won’t love the movie, but I think you will definitely appreciate it.  If you’re a single woman and a big fan of the show then I think you will like it as well.  This movie has heart, but it is still a lot of fun.

In the film, both Carrie and Charlotte in particular, seem to be trying to reconnect with their individual selves.  They are facing their wants, their needs, their fears, and their fantasies and realities.  It really is a quest that they are on, that in my opinion anyone can relate to.  In all this they try to figure out how their new roles in their lives fit in with the women they once were and how they can bring back “The Sparkle” as Carrie calls it.  Carrie specifically says that her and Big need to work on “The Sparkle,” in their daily lives, and don’t we all?

Life without sparkle, well it’s just boring.  However, in the midst of jobs, family life, bills, and just the everyday set-backs of life in general, bringing back “The Sparkle” within yourself, within your relationships, and just within your life can be a difficult task.  It is something that we all need to work on.  However, I’m up for the challenge. I’ve never considered myself the typical woman.  I like “The Sparkle,” as a matter of fact I need it, and it is my belief that we all do.  So I challenge you to ask yourself, when was the last time you felt “The Sparkle” in your life?

The post ‘Sex and The City’ 2: How It Relates to My Life and Yours’, Why I Think The Critics Are Wrong, And Why We All Need “The Sparkle!” appeared first on Michelle Rivera Lifestyle.